Introducing: Dame Detrimentia, Counselor Egregious

Just recently I received the following letter:

Dear Dr. Nostuabuk,

A friend of a friend of my guardian great aunt suggested you might be
able to help me. You see, I am so distraught. All my friends make fun of
me because none of my planets have any essential dignity. They sort of
snicker whenever anyone mentions the “ess” word.
What am I to do?

yours in desperation,

Distraught in Monte Perdido

As this sort of question is of a more delicate nature I asked Dame Detrimentia, Counslor Egregious a very good friend of mine if she could give counsel on this matter; which she has, with the greatest condenscension, kindly agreed to. Its author has consented to having the answer published here as it may be of general public benefit.

Detrimentria and I first met in Constantinople during the reign of the Palaeologi in the 1300’s or thereabout. I can assure you that Detrimentia has the keenest of insight granted not only by life experience but also by natural talent… Ahem.

Here is what she recommends:

There is nothing wrong with you that reincarnation won’t cure. Esse-appeal is all very well for cadent planets, but what a girl really needs is Fortitude. Get with-it; get Angular! Who wants to settle for the bare essentials when they could be swift in motion in Hayz? Or free from combustion in the Orient? What has Exaltation in the 12th got to offer that Joy in the 5th can’t beat? Start life afresh with a whole new chart dear Distraught and you too could be Cazimi! So flaunt your Accidental and stun and amaze those 11th house Lords. They will be snickering on the other side of their cusps with envy when they see you not only conjuncting Spica in the heart of the Sun but also being besieged by the benefics.

encouragingly,

Detrimentia
(Caroline Allen)

 

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2 thoughts on “Introducing: Dame Detrimentia, Counselor Egregious

  1. Dear Dame Detrimentia of the 3rd Dementia !

    “Get angular” ???!!!

    Is that really a wise advice to give to one distraught , teenage girl ?

    Don’t we all know how those young woman go on severe diets, wishing to look like a top model and capture an accidental dignified position in the 10th house of fashion, “get angular” and eventually acquire Anorexia nervosa of the 6th house, which might push them right into the 12th or even 4th ?

    Dear Madame, in the future please choose your words more carefully.

    😉

  2. My dear Countess Parantellonta

    Or may one call you Parans? In no way was I advising our dear Ms Distraught to aspire to an anaretic degree – nervosa or otherwise. I deplore that young women nowadays choose to emulate the South Node in appearance and personally I blame the Puteal degrees; quite frankly they are the pits!

    However, my advice was perfectly sound. As Ms Distraught lacks the innate confidence that only ‘essential dignity’ can bestow then it is essential that she acquires strength and confidence from elsewhere. And it is a fact universally acknowledged that an excellent source of fortitude can be found via ‘accidental dignity’ which is readily attainable from any good software purveyor. This should be taken thrice daily unless otherwise recommended by her physician.

    Dear Countess, in the future I will choose my words as carefully as in the past, if in future you remember that I am infallible.

    Yours in oblique condescension,
    Detrimentia (Dame: Counsellor Egregious)

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