Dame Detrimentia C.E.: The Invasion of the Dwad Snatchers: (Alien 144)

Dear Dame Detrimentia,
I am a novice astrologer. Last week when I was walking in the park I passed a Dwad in full regalia. I couldn’t help staring as I have never seen anything like this before. But Dame Detrimentia, the Dwad followed me home and has taken up residence in the urn I have next to my door. Just yesterday my triplicities have begun complaining that he is lowering the neighborhood. What am I to do?
flustered in Dacamoria,

Dear Flustered,
Oh dear! I deduce from your chart that tropical Leo embellishes your 4th house, and therefore the classical urn next to its cusp will possibly have been thrown in the precessed Leo Decan dynasty. If so, then I am very much afraid dear Flustered that you have been invaded by illegal aliens: the disreputable, dissolute and very decadent Dwad squatters! (Only a Leo Dwad would dress in full regalia during the day time.) These wanton little blighters are refugees from the sidereal zodiac and once they take up residence in a chart are very difficult to evict!

Are you aware that Dwads come by the dozen, subdivided four to an urn, between 3 decanate urns? There should be eleven more of the pesky little degenerates lurking around somewhere. Do you have more than one urn in your 4th house dear Flustered?

If you have the complete set of classical Leo urns (one Leonine decanate; one Sagittarian decanate and one decanate of the Arian dynasty) then undoubtedly they too have been infested by the full dirty Dwad dozen!

These promiscuous little creatures don’t pair up like the polarities in twos, but prefer to cohabit and reproduce in fours, which makes it very problematic when quadrupling knowing whose turn it is to do what to whom, or who is responsible for dwat’s Dwadlets.

They are amoral little blighters and so your Leo Dwad will not be alone in your urn dear Flustered but will undoubtedly be cosying up to not only a Virgo Dwad, but a Libran and a Scorpio Dwad too; with the Sag Dwad in the Sagittarian decanate urn consorting with a Cappy, Aquarian and Piscean Dwad; and the Arian in the Aries decanate urn cavorting indiscriminately with the Taurean, Gemininian and Cancerian Dwads of indeterminate gender.

Personally I blame the permissive software programmes for all this gratuitous dwadquadrupling and dwadashinanangling! Once programmed into any chart, Dwads tend to disport themselves shamelessly and with abandon, shedding their regalia and flaunting themselves buck naked in their natal two-and-a-half degrees! No wonder the Triplicities are reeling and the Dignities shocked in Dacamoria!

You must evict the profligates immediately! The correct way to eject your dirty Dwad dozen and also prevent future invasion by the remaining 144 Dwadashamsas would be to remove the decanate urns from your chart altogether. In fact, not only should you remove the Decans, but it would be advisable to eradicate the Faces too. By removing the both the Decans and Faces you deprive the Dwads of their natural ten degree breeding habitat and thus their ability to multiply by divisional and sub-divisional quadrupling by two-and-a-half degrees!
If a Dwad can’t fit that all important half-a-degree into the Terms urns, there is nothing for it but to cut it off; and there is none so cross as a Dwat with his half degree cut short!

Go to ‘Preferences’ immediately and delete every default you can lay your hands on! That should give you a nice clean chart with empty urns!

Egregiously yours,
Detrimentia (Dame C.E.; Dwad Immigration Control Consultant)

7 thoughts on “Dame Detrimentia C.E.: The Invasion of the Dwad Snatchers: (Alien 144)

  1. Dwearest Dwame Dwetrimenwia!

    Dwad dwo you mean? Is dwere a cure?… dweh, dweh. dweh (sworry, had two cwough)…


  2. Hi, My Great Dame,

    Well I guess we could do wot I did. . . I sent the Dwads to Greece for a formal education! A little Proclus, set up after Parmenides eight discourses. These li’l guys are quite well beghaved now.

    Believe it or not, those li’l Dwads returned home in full togas!! What I found impressive is they even changed their names!

    They now prefer to be hailed as Dodecatmoria
    Ancient Greek 2.5 degree division of a sign (one twelfth of 30 degrees). They did quite well in their schooling!!!

    As always, Dame Detrimentia,
    I remain your humble servant,
    Sir Arthyr

  3. Dwear Dwayne

    Dwiscouraging dwose dwamned Dwads and dwebunking dwem from dwere dwouble and dwemi degrees in de dwepths of de dwecanates dis a dvery dwelicate dwilemma. Dwey must be dwisarmed, dweprived of dwignity, dwemoted to dwehydrated dwegrees until dey are dwead and den dwisposed of by dweleted dwem from de Dwolar Dire dwefaults.

    Dwementedly Dyours

    Dame Detrimentia (C.E. Dwad Dwisposal Consultant)

  4. > ..sent the dwads to Greece for a formal education.

    Ah Yes! Dear Sir Arthyr; go to the top of the class!

    The Dodekatemoria (or should that be Dwodwekwatemworia?)

    Dr Nostuabuk was going on about them only the other day! He had just taken tea with the young Professor of Mathematics at Nuremberg University who was worried about ever finishing his ‘On the Judgements of Nativities’ lost in the wrong Fidaria as he was!

    I believe young Johannes has even more aphorisms on the Dwodwekwtermworia than even Paulus Alexandrus!

    With very many apologies to Rob Hand who tells us in the Introduction to Johannes Schoener’s ‘On the Judgements of Nativities’, page vi:

    “The two types of dodekatemoria are as follows: What appears to be the older type involves taking the position of the planet in each sign,
    multiplying it by 12, and adding it to the original position. This results in what 20th century Astrology has called the 13th harmonic position,
    because 12x + x = 13x, x being the planet’s position in its own sign. This results in each sign being divided into 13 divisions the first and 13th of which are the same as the original sign. Thus there are 13 complete zodiacs in the course of the entire circle.

    The second type also involves multiplying the planet’s position in its sign but not adding the result of the original position, but still counting the position from 0 degrees of the sign in which it is located. This results in their being 12 divisions in each sign, but also results in a discontinuity of the signs when crossing the original sign boundaries. Where the first
    types make 13 complete cycles of ‘signs’ from Aries through Pisces, in the second type Aries ends with a ‘Pisces’ division but Taurus begins with a ‘Taurus’ divisiion skipping over the ‘Aries’ division. This type is found in Jyotish and is called the ‘dwadasamsa’. See Paulus lexandrinus and Olympiodorus et al. ‘Late Classical Astrology’, trans Dorian G Greenbaum
    (Reston VA, ARHAT, 2001) 40-41.”

    Ends quote.

    Those pesky little critturs the Dwads seem to get everywhere don’t they!

    Eternally yours,
    Detrimentia (Dame C.E.)

  5. Dwear Dwame Dwetwimentwia,

    Use has mwade it wery dwifficult . Where Dwid dwou learn all of dwis stwuff? Very dwanjerous for us dwads. Bye.

    Dwone the,

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