Dear Dame Detrimentia,
I knew I shouldn’t have bought those Mystical Moon herbal cigarettes at the New Age Magical Mart. Ever since I lit up things have been hazy. I cleaned my glasses so it can’t be that. Should I have elected a special time to smoke them? Or wouldn’t it have made any difference. I am a Scorpio on the cusp. Did I choose the wrong planet?
No dear, you had the right planet, but unfortunately you chose the wrong time to smoke it. Hayz can only be attained successfully when planetary halb is inhaled through a hookah of the same similitude or sex.
Didn’t you read Thomas’s article on ‘Above and Below the Horizon’? You should have elected an auspicious night time chart when the Sun had set and the Moon was above the earth in a feminine sign, and Mars was above the earth in a masculine sign in order to enjoy the Moon’s more mystical mind-altering state known as hayz that is experienced only after smoking halb correctly.
According to Halucinata the Hellene, halb should be smoked in a very specific manner through a hookah or hubble-bubble; this induces the sublime state of ecstasy known as hayz. If your planets are in sect but out of sex, then your hubble is more likely to burst your bubble, which can indeed mist up one’s spectacles.
A planet in its own sect and sex is blissfully content because it can smoke when in its own natural habitat according to orientality and occidentality: the diurnal planets such as Jupiter and Saturn are strong enough to accompany the Sun on a trip above the horizon because they have both taken the slow cyclical 12-Step Recovery Program around the mundane houses and can resist the more exotic tobaccos when in masculine signs of their own similitude.
But nocturnal planets such as the Moon, Venus and Mars are all heavily dependent on ‘speed’ to dash around the zodiac, and therefore far happier when transiting under the earth looking for a fix in one of Al Qasbahisi’s chain of hookah joints. Unfortunately these jolly nocturnal 5th house hubble-bubble houses such as the eponymous Quasbah or Kasbah, all too often get placed out of sect into the diurnal 12th houses of self-undoing which often results in leading the unwary astrologer astray. This however was not your problem.
You dear Cecil appear only to have burst your bubble. This is most likely because you smoked your halb correctly when the Sun, Jupiter and Saturn were either above the horizon in a day chart or below the horizon in a night chart, but you did not place the planetary halb into hookahs or hubble-bubbles of their own gender. Planets in halb should only be placed into pipes of their own sex: i.e. the masculine hubbles of Aries, Gemini, Leo, Libra, Sagittarius, Aquarius.
Likewise with the Moon, Venus and Mars. You smoked them when in the correct halb alright (above the horizon in a night time chart, and below the horizon in a day time chart) but none of them appear to have been inhaled through hookahs of similitude. You placed the Moon and Venus correctly into Pisces a very feminine hookah, but I see that you packed your masculine chart ruler Mars into a girly Taurus clay pipe which you proceeded to puff out of sect below the earth in the 4th house kitchen! There is no way Mars could attain the sublime ecstatic experience of Hayz whilst out of sex in Taurus below the horizon regardless of what was bubbling in his hubble.
But most disastrously of all, you left Mercury out the chart altogether. This was perhaps your greatest mistake Cecil, and accounts for your status as a peregrine singleton. Mercury is happy inside either sect and therefore swings both ways sectually. When oriental Mercury swings in diurnal motion with the Sun, and when occidental Mercury swings in nocturnal motion with the Moon. This is known as bisectuality, which would not only make it easier for you to attain Hayz, but immediately doubles your chances of a date on a Saturday night.
I hope this helps?
Dame Detrimentia C.E.
Disclaimer: This article is not an endorsement for smoking.