Dame Detrimentia, C.E.: A Case of a ‘Mystical’ Moon

Dear Dame Detrimentia,

I knew I shouldn’t have bought those Mystical Moon herbal cigarettes at the New Age Magical Mart. Ever since I lit up things have been hazy. I cleaned my glasses so it can’t be that. Should I have elected a special time to smoke them? Or wouldn’t it have made any difference. I am a Scorpio on the cusp. Did I choose the wrong planet?


Dear Cecil,
No dear, you had the right planet, but unfortunately you chose the wrong time to smoke it. Hayz can only be attained successfully when planetary halb is inhaled through a hookah of the same similitude or sex.

Didn’t you read Thomas’s article on ‘Above and Below the Horizon’? You should have elected an auspicious night time chart when the Sun had set and the Moon was above the earth in a feminine sign, and Mars was above the earth in a masculine sign in order to enjoy the Moon’s more mystical mind-altering state known as hayz that is experienced only after smoking halb correctly.

According to Halucinata the Hellene, halb should be smoked in a very specific manner through a hookah or hubble-bubble; this induces the sublime state of ecstasy known as hayz. If your planets are in sect but out of sex, then your hubble is more likely to burst your bubble, which can indeed mist up one’s spectacles.

A planet in its own sect and sex is blissfully content because it can smoke when in its own natural habitat according to orientality and occidentality: the diurnal planets such as Jupiter and Saturn are strong enough to accompany the Sun on a trip above the horizon because they have both taken the slow cyclical 12-Step Recovery Program around the mundane houses and can resist the more exotic tobaccos when in masculine signs of their own similitude.

But nocturnal planets such as the Moon, Venus and Mars are all heavily dependent on ‘speed’ to dash around the zodiac, and therefore far happier when transiting under the earth looking for a fix in one of Al Qasbahisi’s chain of hookah joints. Unfortunately these jolly nocturnal 5th house hubble-bubble houses such as the eponymous Quasbah or Kasbah, all too often get placed out of sect into the diurnal 12th houses of self-undoing which often results in leading the unwary astrologer astray. This however was not your problem.

You dear Cecil appear only to have burst your bubble. This is most likely because you smoked your halb correctly when the Sun, Jupiter and Saturn were either above the horizon in a day chart or below the horizon in a night chart, but you did not place the planetary halb into hookahs or hubble-bubbles of their own gender. Planets in halb should only be placed into pipes of their own sex: i.e. the masculine hubbles of Aries, Gemini, Leo, Libra, Sagittarius, Aquarius.

Likewise with the Moon, Venus and Mars. You smoked them when in the correct halb alright (above the horizon in a night time chart, and below the horizon in a day time chart) but none of them appear to have been inhaled through hookahs of similitude. You placed the Moon and Venus correctly into Pisces a very feminine hookah, but I see that you packed your masculine chart ruler Mars into a girly Taurus clay pipe which you proceeded to puff out of sect below the earth in the 4th house kitchen! There is no way Mars could attain the sublime ecstatic experience of Hayz whilst out of sex in Taurus below the horizon regardless of what was bubbling in his hubble.

But most disastrously of all, you left Mercury out the chart altogether. This was perhaps your greatest mistake Cecil, and accounts for your status as a peregrine singleton. Mercury is happy inside either sect and therefore swings both ways sectually. When oriental Mercury swings in diurnal motion with the Sun, and when occidental Mercury swings in nocturnal motion with the Moon. This is known as bisectuality, which would not only make it easier for you to attain Hayz, but immediately doubles your chances of a date on a Saturday night.

I hope this helps?
Sectually yours,

Dame Detrimentia C.E.

(Caroline Allen)

Disclaimer: This article is not an endorsement for smoking.

4 thoughts on “Dame Detrimentia, C.E.: A Case of a ‘Mystical’ Moon

  1. Basically It is an interesting bit of Astrological wisdom that if you schedule your daily activities while keeping in mind the Moons position in the sky that day, you will give yourself a little cosmic edge in getting through your To-Do list faster, better and more successfully.

  2. Thank you Libra Zodiac.

    I find that when I am fast in speed, increasing in number and direct in motion that I cut through my To-Do list like a sunbeam through butter irrespective of any other celestial body’s position.

    I have not yet tried ‘cosmic edge’ but on your recommendation will fill my hookah with it on my next visit to the Al Qabisi Qasbah.

    Your hubble-bubbling,
    Dame Detrimentia C.E.

  3. I have a question about my chart:

    I am a Libra, Leo rising and Aquarius moon. I am finishing a PhD and have a question about how to get published despite a weak 9th house.

    I have a peregrine and unaspected Mars which is also my only earth sign. It is alone in the second house.

    I know they say that a singleton planet can be “all or nothing”. For a lot of reasons I think I have been a “nothing” Mars.

    My question is: “How can I make this singleton/peregrine planet work for me?” I figure if I can activate and ameleliorate my Martian self I have a better chance of publishing.

    My ninth house is ruled by Ares and is empty (the house comes out at less than 2% power in Astrodyne analysis – as does Mars).

    Mars mutually receives Saturn and Mercury by term (Scorpio and Libra respectively).

    I am hoping the question will be valuable to other readers who have peregrine/singleton planets.



    • Hallo Gary,

      Erm… I can’t quite follow the connection between Dame Detrimentia’s answer to Cecil’s question about “Mystical Moon herbal cigarettes” and your chart. It is hazy to me.

      But I will give you a serious answer. You would be surprised how little interest your question generates as it is so very personal and your description of your chart lacks sufficient detail.

      Have you tried one of the many astrology mailing lists?

      It is not general policy at Altair Astrology to provide individual readings as there are many professional traditional astrologers who can provide this service and in private. Please refer to my Blogroll to the right.

      best regards,

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