Dame Detrimentia, C.E.: House Case

Dear Dame Detrimentia,

I recently converted to the whole sign house system. Now my I.C. is
somewhere in the 8th house. Can this be? I asked my mentor, and he said
that everyone has to start at the bottom and work their way up and why
am I bothering him as he has better things to do. Did I make a mistake?
Do you think I should convert to the equal house system instead?
yours anxiously,
Bo Peep


Dear Bo

Your mentor is quite right insisting on your going back to basics. We at ‘Project Hidebound’ deplore anything remotely progressive and therefore in matters of domification we insist all astrologers start at the very bottom and never ever develop or improve beyond that. Our classical golden rule is ‘oldest’ is always ‘bestest’! So throw out all these radical innovative notions such as whole sign houses or equal house methods and revert back to the basic model: the Extispicy House System.

This is the oldest house system in existence and comes from Babylonia where they were very partial to sheep. It is adhered to by ‘Project Hidebound’ because the 16 divisions of a Hepatoscope are not only easy to slice but the 2nd and 4th houses make excellent liver-pate afterwards. However, if you live South of Latitude 50 it is highly recommended you keep all Hepatoscopes in the refridgerator. This will prevent any infortunes affecting your Imum Coeli irrespective of its position in the chart, and therefore always guarantees an happy ending.

I hope this helps?

Extiscipially yours

Dame Detrimentia C.E.
(Caroline Allen)


4 thoughts on “Dame Detrimentia, C.E.: House Case

  1. My Dear, Delicate Dame Detrimentia del Dias,

    Very well put. The last Ceremony of the Extispicy House System was really a blast !!

    Of course there was a reluctant reciprocant for the ceremony
    and the ensuing wrestling match between the (Most Dignified)
    priest and Goat was really something to watch . .. lots of gore but it came mostly from the priest as he inadvertently cut himself several times during the ruckus!!

    The Goat managed to escape and I could hear low, almost inaudible mutterings about “somebody should come up with a better system” coming from the priest while he received many stitches about his for-arms and fingers.

    I also heard a heartfelt “tenjoo berry muds” from the individual for whom the ceremony was supposed to held.

    Sir Arthyr,

  2. Dear Sir Arthyr

    As you so sagaciously say, perhaps it was this constant accidental cutting and dismembering of the wrong priestly and goatly parts that resulted in the ‘Whole Goat House System’ being adopted for the Hepatascope.

    This in turn could have prompted the more socially aware astrologers into devising the ‘Equal Goat House System’ with of course some goats and houses being more equal than others, depending on who was doing the division.

    We at Project Hidebound feel such revolutionary ideas are dangerously subversive, and therefore recommend sticking to the original Exstispicy House System.

    With kind con-descension,
    Dame Detrimentia
    (Owner of 1,001 goat &; sheep ranches and sole purveyor of ‘Pate de Foi Goat’ to Royalty)

  3. Dear Dame Detrimentia,

    1,001 huh? Well, that would make an attractive dowery!

    Oh, yes, back to the subject at hand. Goats have a four-chambered stomach consisting of the rumen, the reticulum, the omasum, and the abomasum.
    As such we can easily see, this may have given rise to the four astrological angles coming to the fore in more recent times. Also Goats are reputed to be willing to eat almost anything which also suggests the idea of a universal arrangement between humans and the culinary arts.
    “As below into the stomach. . . .” (an olde adage)

    However and contrary to this reputation, goats are quite fastidious in their habits, this, I’m sure, is the main reason many priests have become engaged in a round of fisticuffs over earlier ideas about Capricorn and Virgo ruler-ships.

    Goats also have an intensely inquisitive and intelligent nature: they will explore anything new or unfamiliar in their surroundings. With this idea we can immediately see the Mercurial connection between Virgo and Gemini.

    Your mention of the Heptascope may well find validation in the naming of the daily periods which eventually found its way into weekly periods. Research will eventually out such notions as being true or false.

    Of course Project Hidebound is probably against such notions as the ‘Goat House System,” because the use of goat hides may have become a vast resource in place of bull.

    But, all in all, The Equal Goat House System is most often free ranging since convincing clients involves extensive upkeep and is seldom commercially viable.

    As always,
    your humble servant,
    Sir Arthyr

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