Dr. Nostuabuk: Where are you Djarles?

Honoured Reader,
If you are sensible enough to find your way here, then you certainly do not belong to the three sub-species mentioned below! The reasoning is simple, what Dr. Nostuabuk writes, is so beneath them as to require no notice at all.


Djarles Djarwine, known to his friends as Djolly, once confided in me that he was on the verge of a discovering the “missing link”. He said that there was something which could only be approximatively called “celestial selection”. His thesis was that the “missing link” was a special form of humanity, homo astrologicus, who stands between microcosm and macrocosm. His premise being that both Natura and Urania subject their subjects to a rigorous process of selection where only the strongest survive. Whereas Natura rules over the realms of mineral, plant, animal and humankind; Urania has sway only over the most advanced of human beings – the astrologer. He alone is at the forefront of evolution. There are three subspecies; homo astrologicus traditionalis, homo astrologicus modernus and homo astrologicus hybridus. Each can be recognised by a particular cry:

  • homo astrologicus traditionalis: “I have discovered a most ancient master. He is all-wise.”
  • homo astrologicus modernus: “This works for me. I am all-wise.”
  • homo astrologicus hybridus: “I have discovered a most ancient master. It works for me. I am all-wise.”

When I told him that I thought the whole theory a bit simplistic. He responded, “You just wait and see. In the course of the years there will be plenty of this subspecies coming your way.” When I asked about all the others who weren’t the vanguard of mankind and still studied astrology? He replied, “Oh, those. My theory only includes the pompous. For only they would think that they are better than everyone else.”

Djarles where are you?


8 thoughts on “Dr. Nostuabuk: Where are you Djarles?

  1. Dr Nostuabuk

    Could there be a fourth subspecies?

    Homo astrologicus classicus : “I have discovered a most ancient master. It does not work for me. But as I am all wise who the hell will know”. 🙂


  2. Dear Lucretia,

    Thank you so much for this reference. Djarles didn’t complete his research as he had more urgent matters to attend to. But yes it is possible. It could be that other sub-species, yet unknown, will be discovered. My nephew, Reginald Rebuk, tells me that there are two hot trails, one in India and one in Mexico. We will keep you posted. It wouldn’t surprise me if there were seven subspecies in all.

    your Servant,
    Hieronymus Nostuabuk

  3. Revered Uncle,
    At last we have made a breakthrough in our search for the
    homo astrologicus jytoishius. We have not made contact yet, but in a remote part of Darjeeling we have heard his cry:
    “This time around I have discovered the true Ayanamsa, I am wiser than ever.”
    your Nephew,

  4. Hello people,

    Deep in Yucatan was spotted homo astrologicus mayanicus. He
    cutting his toe nails and counting.

    I ask, “What you counting?”

    he say,

    “I am counting not just my fingers as does homo astrologicus classicus in his base-10 decimal scheme. I am also counting my toes to include them in a base-20 scheme. I have discovered the ‘Long Count’. I am all wise. I also have neat toe nails.”

    Loco. But sound like what you look for.


  5. We think we have discovered the homo astrologicus tib-yeti high in the Himalayas. Contact has not been made yet, but we followed a trail of bare footprints which stopped in the middle of nowhere. High in some cave, which we couldn’t localize, we heard the following cry:

    yum-rum-hic-rum. I have emptied my chart of everything. yum-rum-hic-rum. My cup too. hic. I am empty and all-wise. hic-hic-hic…


  6. Homo astrologicus Jungius is still alive and flourishing in a Villa on the Zürcher See, Herr Doktor.

    On discovering the archetypal master he cried: “Transference works for me, I am all wise; transfer your credit card details and after a hundred thousand hours of analysis your ego will soon get wise!”


  7. O most learned of Doctors, best and greatest of physicians, praise be to him the creator of all created who has given you the strength to listen to me in this month of Tamuz:

    Homo astrologicus arabicus is even now to be found by the mercy of God, wreathed in smiles and bathed in unctuous oils in Baghdad confiding to his friend: “I have discovered a most ancient Almuten. He is all wise. My arabian parts work much better now, praise be to him.”

    Final, salutations, salaams and praise be to the eternal one.

    Oso Dust Ibin Lina

  8. Dear Doctor,
    Although I stand in the shadow of your greatness, I believe I have found a Astrologicus Macaronicus located in Brazil! True to their nature, this one is involved with “real time editing.”

    In essence said hybrid states:
    * homo astrologicus macaronicus: “I have discovered an almost-ancient master. It kinda works for me. I am convinced I am all-wise Queen bee-ish. I shall put on airs”

    I shall continue studies on this most wondrous sub-species and report later.

    In the meantime, please continue with your research, I await more insightful aspects from your deep understanding.

    You humble servant,
    Sir Arthyr

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