Dame Detrimentia: A Case of the Nodes

Dear Dame Detrimentia,

I have just discovered that my chart has the Nodes. Is there any way this can be rectified, short of surgery?


Dear Flaetitia
Oh, you poor dear! I do hope you aren’t suffering from a post-natal eclipse? You must take great care as although Nodes are not infectious (they do not cast aspects, nor can they have aspects cast to them) they are nevertheless very contagious and will affect everything they conjoin. There is nothing quite so enervating as a debilitated South Node!

Which particular variant are you suffering from? Mean Nodepox or True Nodepox? The first is the more common in Europe and the Colonies, but True Nodepox is currently rampant in India due to the unfortunate sidereal climate there. In either case I urge you to consult Dr Richard Saunders or Dr Nicholas Culpepper immediately as your symptoms could include either North Noditis or South Noditis in which case complications could set in. North Noditis will enlarge and increase everything it touches, whereas South Noditis will weaken and diminish everything it touches, and so it would be advisable to refrain from all conjugal conjuncting with your husband if you have either my dear, as strictly entre nous, too much of a good thing can be just as debilitating as too little!

Whereabouts in your chart are the Nodes Flaetitia? You will usually find one opposite the other even in badly hand drawn charts and if the North Node happens to be at 3 deg Gemini and the South Node at 3 deg Sagittarius, then the prognosis is good. What is worrying however, is that complications could set in should you contract a case of the Bendings; this is when any planet in your chart falls in exact square to the Nodes by progression or transit, in which case Flaeticia I am afraid there is no other recourse than a radical Nodectomy.

I think I had better send you a copy of dear H.L. Cornell’s ‘Rules for Operations’ from his Encyclopedia of Medical Astrology – under plain cover naturally, with instructions on how to elect a mutually receptive time to operate.

I hope this helps?
Diurnally yours

Dame Detrimentia (Decumbituress Egregious)
(Caroline Allen)

11 thoughts on “Dame Detrimentia: A Case of the Nodes

  1. Dear Dame,

    After reconsidering your note of interest, I have decided yo get a nodes job. As the bendings are superflous I deem tha necessary procedures wiillbe in accordance with Dr Richard Saunders . .. althouigh the texdt is quite difficult to read.

    Graciously yours,
    Sir Arthyr

  2. Dear Sir Arthyr

    I am quite sure that your elegantly shaped Nodes are not in need of cosmic surgery, but in view of the erratic text above, you may wish to consult Dr Saunders as to the state of your ‘lights’? I fear that one or other of your luminaries may currently be afflicted by Aculeus!

    Binary-focally yours,
    Dame Detrimentia

  3. Dear Donna Detrimentia de la Mentia,

    Nodes ? How very monstrous !

    During my recent visit to India I had the doubtful pleasure of visiting one very famous pundit for consultation. When asking him about those two earphone shaped glyphs in my chart, he hushed me, goggled and whispered :”Karma !”

    As it turns out, these so called “nodes” are actually two separable mystical shadow entities name Rahu and Ketu, responsible for the death and rebirth of the Sun and Moon , Father and Mother, which they cover with fearful darkness about twice a year, also known as pre-fatal Eclipses.

    Because they are invisible to our human eyes, and even to NASA’s most modern and powerful paparazzo telescopes, we therefore conclude they are the parts of a mythological demonic serpent from another dimension. This self centered and dissolute serpent, named Vasuki, the owner of hidden knowledge and wisdom (so they say) stole the nectar of immortality and drank it in order to control the world (all dictators alike). Sun and Moon, the informers, handed him over to Vishnu, who threw his Chakra at him and cut him into two “nodes”. The bisected immortal serpent remained in the sky as two earphones, forever eavesdropping on the treacherous Sun and Moon, conspiring vengeance.

    They function as Heads and Tails of a coin the Lord of fate and destiny casts on people’s lives whenever he’s too bored. Only recently he had cast tails onto the unfortunate destiny of one exalted woman named Bhutto. Alas !

    As you can see , my dear Lady, the truth about the so called Nodes is nowhere near your well woven yarn.

    In the future , please be genuine enough to make an in depth inquiry of the subject in question, before mystifying your gullible Flatterers.

    Ohmm Shanti Ohm’s Law,

    Conti Parans

  4. My dear Countess

    I think you should accompany Sir Arthyr to the occulist. It is perfectly obvious to me that Lord Vishnu having over imbibed on the amrita, missed the serpent, and hit Tycho Brahe on the Nodes instead.

    Dexterously yours,
    Detrementia (Dame; C.E.)

  5. My dear Dame Dementia,
    My husband claims my nodes are mean, but I swear to him they are as true as the node on Tycho Brahe’s face. I tell him over and over I have no axis to grind. But how I can prove this, I do not node. Any suggestions?
    Beseiged in the Windy City

  6. Dear Besieged

    Too many Sun’s beans at the Solstice can give you flatulence and so I am not at all surprised you are feeling windy my dear; so let me first of all recommend essence of Cauda Draconis to deflate any excess air in your chart.

    Secondly, do not worry about losing your axis, there is an excellent selection of replacement Nodal Lines currently obtainable at 29*04 Aquarius which as you know is located at the top of the line of intersection of the plane of the Earth’s path around the Sun and that of the Moon’s path around the Earth, (just to the right of the previous Eclipse).

    And lastly dear Beseiged, are you absolutely positive that your Nodes are not mean? Are they always retrograde? Does it take them approximately 18.5 years to plod backwards to their natal position without once looking the right way? Is your North Node currently located at 0*21 Pisces? In which case I fear that your Nodes are indeed mean because a Mean Node’s motion is based on the average daily speed of motion, whereas a true node ‘dances’ around the Ecliptic backwards and forwards in both retrograde and direct motion pirouetting skittishly whilst varying its speed as it makes the same revolution in the same time frame.

    I fear your husband may be having a mid-life crisis if he wishes your Nodes to behave in this fashion, and so to pre-empt any silly nonsense brought on by his having a possible Uranus half-return, I suggest he consult Dr Nostuabuk immediately about cutting that nasty Deino out of his chart.

    I hope this helps?

    Draconicly yours,
    Dame Detrimentia (Counsellor Egregious)

  7. My Dearest Shrink Detrimentia,

    Does South Node on Regulus mean this time the great Don CorLeone is to find a dragon’s tail in his bed ?

    apprehensively yours,

  8. Dear Tony

    My title is Dame not Shrink, so Dame Detrimentia if you please Tony dear, let’s keep to the formalities. I know a wave of egalitarianism is sweeping across the Tradition (otherwise I wouldn’t be sitting here now talking to someone as undignified as yourself), but I deplore it nevertheless. Essential dignities should always be maintained in my column if you please!

    Regarding your question, perhaps you were thinking of the unfortunate equine incident when Don Corleone encountered Rastaban when at 12* Sagittarius? This however is in Draconis, the head of the dragon and not the tail.

    As you so rightly point out, the dragon’s tail is currently available at 29* Leo should anyone require a metonic return when feeling obliquely inclined.

    Sarotically yours,
    Dame Detrimentia (C.E.)

  9. My Dear Dame Detrimentia,

    Mayhap our dear Tony actually “embrouiler le queue d’animal” as well as the node requirement. . . seeing that Don Corleone even has Leo in his name, perhaps Tony really wanted to say was ” the head of a lion.”

    However that may be, ol’ Rastaban did make a rather dramatic, well remembered entrance with his first screen appearance with 12 Sagittarius. The lack of foresight to guard his ‘treasure?’ No accident that!!

    And too, having enjoyed the Sun’s beans on special days, I can whole-heartedly agree, without their li’l dance, the nodes can be a mean pair!

    Your humble servant,
    Sir Arthyr

  10. Mon cher et parfait chevalier Arthyr

    Don Corleone is not the only one to be embrouillé dans la queue du sud de la lune!

    I wonder how the transitting South Node will affect Barak Obama when it conjoins his natal Sun in the 13th degree of Leo this November 2008?

    Mean Nodes can sure can act mean! 😦

    Avec affection, and affectedly yours,
    Detrimentia (Dame C.E.)

  11. Mon Cher, Dame Detrimentia,

    Oui. . . how very astute

    The SNode will become partile conjoined with Obummer’s Sun on Nov 21, 2008 12:40 P.M. set for Washington, District of Columbia – 38N53 77W02.

    At that time, we also see the Ascendant on his natal SNode. Transiting Moon will leave Saturn to become partile conjunct with Mars on the N-8th cusp.
    Also at this time Transiting Jupiter and Saturn are partile trine within minutes while the protection of Jupiter weakened in Capricorn.

    Transiting Mars is just past an opposition by 30 minutes to his natal Moon.

    With an eclipse on his natal Sun on August 1, 2008. . . he’s certainly in a negative spotlight during this period.

    We live in interesting times.

    Ton Pote,
    Sir Arthyr

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